When Does the Roller Coaster Ride End?

In the last installment of this blog,  you saw me make a decision.  I found a third way – one that seemed to allow me to hold 2 beliefs as true at the same time, even though they would normally lead to opposite conclusions.  So now what?  Say “Whew!!! That’s over.” And ride off into the sunset?

(c)AdobeStock Photo

(c) AdobeStock Photo

Not exactly.

We Have a Winner

When we left off yesterday, I was wrestling with two conflicting truths which were keeping me torn.  Kind of in a state of suspended animation or something.

  1. When I absolutely know I can do something about a situation, I must.
  2. In order for me to do my best work, I need rest and restoration.

(c) AdobeStock Photo

(c) AdobeStock Photo

So there I was, at the coffee shop with my friend, torn and wrestling.  Struggling between the two.

Wrestling With Truth

Last week I wrote that I was torn.  About what to do about a possible consulting opportunity.  Now in the past I would have left the decision to the hiring manager.  If we could work out the terms, I’d do it.  Though I’d put some parameters around it, I’d otherwise abdicate my responsibility and let someone else decide for me.  Or I’d consider only the financial impact.

(c) AdobeStock Photo

(c) AdobeStock Photo

Not this time.  This time I wanted to decide myself – was I truly interested or not – even before we discussed terms.  And I was torn.

A Near Miss

Yesterday was Retirement Day Two.  I’m still kind of in shock.  My schedule has been completely upended.  I’m not sure what day it is.  I’m not quite sure what to do with myself yet.  And it still feels like I’m on vacation.

(c) AdobeStock Photo

(c) AdobeStock Photo

Except I know I’m not.

It All Started With the Cinnamon

I was making butternut squash, and wanted to sprinkle it with cinnamon before roasting.  I love cinnamon, and use it a lot. I went to the cupboard, pulled out my old cinnamon canister (that I keep pouring new stuff into because it works better than the new containers), and shook it.  It felt empty.

(c) Kathleen Thompson

(c) Kathleen Thompson

I opened it, tried to sprinkle the cinnamon, and almost nothing came out.

The Finish Line is the Starting Line For the Next Thing

I woke the morning of December 20th with Jerry on my mind.  The 13th anniversary of his death.  How could I honor him in a special way, and also acknowledge that I’m in a new season of life?  One that includes leaving my 36-year career in less than two weeks?

(c) AdobeStock

(c) AdobeStock Photo

I pulled out my pad and started writing.  I do this often – just write whatever is on my heart.  No filter.

Joy is Optional

Did you know that you’re promised joy? Psalm 30 says, “Weeping may stay for the night, but rejoicing comes in the morning.”  Yet sometimes we just don’t feel it.  It seems elusive.

Crossroad

And sometimes we have to choose joy before it will find us.  It feels so far away.  Sometimes joy is optional.