Episode 043 – Good Fences Make Good Neighbors – “Boundaries” by Henry Cloud

You've heard the expression, good fences make good neighbors.  What is it about those fences that helps keep the relationship with our neighbors good? On this episode we explore the benefits of boundaries as we talk about Boundaries by Henry Cloud.

2015-07-25 15.08.11

(c) Ann Thompson

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On This Episode

Rhythm of Life – The Best Laid Plans….Revisited
Tune-up Tip – Why You Shouldn’t Go to the Gym
Feature Segment – Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Boundaries by Henry Cloud

Rhythm of Life – The Best Laid Plans…Revisited

Have you ever done something to save time, and then it turns out to be the opposite?  That’s exactly what happened to me recently, and I learned a vital lesson from it.

Listen to hear more about my experience.  And the next time you do something you’ve done over and over again, pay attention. And when it goes wrong, allow yourself grace.

Tune-Up Tip – Why You Shouldn’t Go to the Gym

If you’ve been listening to me for a while, you know I’ve had challenges with sleep that came to a head in 2011, when I suffered from burnout. Sleep isn’t always easy, and can’t be controlled.  But sleep is very important for good health, even more so than exercise.

So….don’t get up super early to go to the gym.

Why? Because when you don’t get enough sleep, your brain doesn’t work.  You make poor choices.  You crave unhealthy foods.  Not getting enough sleep affects memory, diet, job performance, physical and emotional resilience.  Even your ability to exercise.

If you’re among the 40% of people who don’t get a minimum of 7 hours sleep a night, maybe it would be a good idea to turn off the alarm, skip the gym, and sleep. And once you’ve established good sleep habits, go back to the gym.  Or find another time to exercise.

Feature Segment – Good Fences Make Good Neighbors: Boundaries by Henry Cloud

You've heard the expression, good fences make good neighbors.  What is it about those fences that helps keep the relationship with our neighbors good?

Dr. Henry Cloud's book explores the benefit of boundaries. Whether it applies to physical space or relationships, Cloud says that boundaries define what is and is not us. They keep the good in and the bad out.  The goal of boundaries is greater intimacy.  It is expressing love out of freedom, rather than compulsion.  In Episode 020, we talked about the word “No”, which when used sets boundaries and helps us minimize compulsion.

No doubt boundaries can come with some difficulties and risks. Either we have trouble setting them ourselves or others try to stomp on them.  Or the limits we set can be restricting.

But boundaries should also be freeing. A mere statement of what we will and will not do. Each takes responsibility for his or her own behavior. And if the other person doesn't, then you have already established what you will do.

Sounds simple, but it’s not easy. There will be pitfalls, but if you focus on what’s important, boundaries will enable success.

Listen to learn more, then practice on yourself. As you get better at it, try it on other people.  Send a note to kathleen@kathleenannthompson.com, or post in the comments or Facebook page to let me know how it's going.

And to help you, tweet for the Read For Life Twitter Book Giveaway!

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