You know how it feels when something you’ve been proud of becomes difficult?  Maybe you even feel ashamed about it?  Like you were a rising star at your company, and now younger people are passing you by.  Or you were a great athlete and an injury leaves you not quite the same again.  Now you lose confidence.  You’re struggling to explore beyond what’s possible as you see your limitations in full living color.  On this episode you’ll learn 5 steps to break free so you can step out with the confidence you need to make the impossible possible.

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On This Episode

Rhythm of Life – Breathe Into the Pain
Random Riffs – A Song For You to Fly
Feature Segment – It’s Time to Break Free

Today’s Quote

The best artist has that thought alone which is contained within the marble shell; The sculptor's hand can only break the spell to free the figures slumbering in the stone.  — Michelangelo

Rhythm of Life – Breathe Into the Pain (and Maybe Even Sing)

It all started with pain in my sciatic nerve.  Out of nowhere.  Making it difficult to walk, sit, lie down, or stand.

After 2-3 weeks of this, my Alexander teacher decided to try a different approach.  I breathed into the pain as she pressed on the spot that was at the center.  I also expressed how the pain felt.

It wasn’t what I expected.  I wasn’t sure if it would work or not, but it was worth a try. And it helped.

Two days later I couldn’t sleep from the pain.  And when I woke up, I had pain in my sternum too.  Sharp, deep pain.  I tried the same method myself.  Pressed into the center of the pain and breathed.

Just like at my Alexander lesson, the pain moved and eventually diffused.

Maybe I’m crazy, but I wouldn’t expect this to be the plan.  To work at all.  I would avoid the pain at all costs.  And yet moving toward it was exactly what I needed to do for it to lose its power.  Its bite.

There are so many other applications for this principle too.  Like a strained relationship.  A performance issue at work.  Your finances.  We should do the same thing there.  Move toward the pain and express how it feels.  It will diffuse its power.  It may even resolve the issue with only a bit of soreness remaining.

Don’t move away.  Move toward.  Breathe with the pain and you’ll lessen its sting.

Random Riffs – A Song For You to Fly

One of my favorite quotes is by Edward Teller:

When you get to the end of all the light you know and it's time to step into the darkness of the unknown, faith is knowing that one of two things shall happen: either you will be given something solid to stand on, or you will be taught how to fly.

That made me think of one of my favorite songs – “Blackbird” by the Beatles.  Why?  Because in its quiet simplicity it speaks of hope.

Fly, blackbird, especially when you step into the darkness of the unknown.

Feature Segment – It’s Time to Break Free

You may remember that in Episode 085, we talked about going beyond what’s possible.  Maybe you’ve thought about it ever since you listened to that episode.  Maybe you’ve even done it before.  And maybe there’s something stopping you, like it stopped me for a very long time.

You see, when my husband died, I lost not only a husband, but also my singing partner.  And somehow in the grief and losing that part of our life together, I lost my voice.

I worked with my voice teacher to try and get it back, but it wasn’t working.  And then I had grief plus shame.  Because something I had been great at now seemed like a struggle.

You know how it feels when something you’ve been proud of suddenly becomes something shameful?

Like you were a rising star at your company, and now younger people are passing you by.  Or you were a great athlete and an injury leaves you not quite the same again.  That’s how it felt.

This can affect other parts of your life too, as you lose confidence.  It can stop you from exploring beyond what’s possible.

When you find yourself in this situation, how do you break free?  There are 5 steps to breaking free.

1. Observe.  Recognize it for what it is and understand the impact. Ask good questions.  For more on how to do that, listen to Episode 067.    Don’t just do this at the beginning.

Action: What have you noticed about yourself that could be holding you back?

2. Wrestle. With your past.  Brene Brown calls it “rumble with your story”.  Breathe into the pain.  For a physical example of this, see Stephen Colbert interview Tom Brady about his secret to being able to throw a football for so many years.

Action:  What uncomfortable place have you been consciously or unconsciously avoiding?

3. Start.  Don’t compare to the past.  Be willing to be bad before you get good again.  Experience what’s there, including your emotions.

Action:  Repeat after me – “I promise to start ____________ again.  Even though I feel ___________ about it, I’m doing it anyway. “

4. Practice.  When you want to break free, it doesn’t happen on the first try.  Takes the right kind of practice.  The practice that reinforces the good, no matter how slow you have to go.  How much you have to break it down.  This goes for our thoughts and actions.

Action: What can you practice, even for 5 minutes a day, that can help you break free?

5. Celebrate.  Any small win.  Even if all you’ve done is start and stop more than once.

Action:  What can you celebrate right this minute?

Remember, your goal is to break free from what's holding you back so you can go beyond what has previously been possible for you.  And once you start to break free, imagine and act.  It will be so much easier when you’re not dragging around all that weight from past.  Imagine how that could feel?!

Let me know what you decide to do.  It could be something tiny…or something huge.  Or, anywhere in between.  Leave a comment or email kathleen@kathleenannthompson.com

You have one life.  Don’t let your past dictate the future. It’s time to break free.