In my last post, I told you that I dug out a bush that was crowding another.  So the stronger bush could thrive.  What I didn’t tell you want just how much work it was to get that thing out of there.

Because it wasn’t a small bush.  And it was so intertwined with its neighbor.  Not only that, but there were those nasty bittersweet vines wrapped tightly around both bushes.

I resisted taking it out.  Partly because of the work involved, and also because of the sunk costs.  What it cost to buy it in the first place, and then what it had cost to take care of it for years.

Fortunately, my friend Sarah was visiting.  She encouraged me to remove it.  Helped me do it, too.

Sarah was right.  And having her there made all the difference.

At first we don’t know what we were dealing with.  We work together to remove the vines.  Now she goes after the tall weeds while I trim the bush.  Now we can see.  Now it’splain that the smaller bush has to go.

Just because it’s obvious doesn’t mean I want to do it.  I stand there trying to think of any alternative other than that.  There isn’t one.  So I commit and set my mind to the task.

Sarah’s holding branches out of my way so I can cut them.  We’re cutting the bush down to make it easier to dig out.  Branch by branch.  Removing the impediments to our goal, which is to ensure the health of the neighboring bush.

Now for the roots.  First the pitchfork, and then the shovel.  Digging around the roots, while being careful to not disturb the neighboring bush.  Sarah pulling while I dig.  Finally it comes loose.

Sometimes we need someone else, don’t we?  To help us decide what’s right.  To lend a helping hand.  Sarah was that person for me in that moment.  I was so grateful.

I so often have to figure things out myself.  Do them myself.  I don’t have the luxury of someone else living with me to bounce things off of.  I’m so used to it, in fact, that I don’t even ask for help when I could.  And sometimes when I should.

Maybe you’re that way sometimes too?

Brene Brown said this in her book “Daring Greatly”: “Our ability to give wholeheartedly is only as great as our ability to accept help.”  Every time I read or thing about that I kind of sink into my chair.  Because accepting help is sometimes hard for me.  And asking for help?  Even harder.  Yet, if no accepts help, then how can anyone give?  And accepting help keeps us humble.  We see and understand where others are strong than we, and freely accept their help.

It’s much more fun to be part of a team, especially when everyone brings their strengths to the group. It’s also energizing, and stimulates everyone to do their best.  Yes, I can see the benefit of accepting help.

But it feels different to be part of a team, as opposed to a supposedly self-sufficient New England Yankee who’s used to pulling themselves up by their bootstraps and doing everything themselves.

Yet, even as I say this, I so clearly see how much Sarah helped me in the garden.  How others have helped me in big and small ways.  Taking care of me when I was so ill or when my husband died.  Helping me evaluate my clothes to decide what to keep and what to let go.  Inviting me for dinner so I don’t have to eat by myself.

My life is richer for the help others have generously extended to me.  I’m sure yours is too.  Because sometimes it really is better together.

Do you have a story about a special someone who helped you?  Leave a comment and share your story.