I’ve got a long drive to the doctor.  I know!  I’ll use the time to catch up with some friends.  I dial the first one.  She’s driving too.  To see her dad in the hospital.  Something serious.  I wasn’t expecting that.  Thought I’d hear stories about what the kids are up to and what they’re doing for Thanksgiving.

You never know what you’ll hear when you call someone on the phone.

Now I’m listening intently.  Wishing I was there so I could hug her.  Give her some comfort other than my voice.  And then I realize that this is a divine appointment.  My listening ear and voice, as imperfect as they are, are helping her know she’s not alone.  She’s got friends who care.  Who understand hurt and are willing to share it.

Her voice is a little lighter when we hang up.  I didn’t say much.  Didn’t have a magic wand or keen insights.  But she had a companion on part of her trip.  And I was glad to be there.

Now the next call.  It’s great to catch up on the news.  Nothing earth-shattering.  Just a heart-to-heart with a dear friend.  Ahhhhh.  It feels like a warm hug as I drive my car.

Then my phone rings.  It’s the third call.  Another difficult situation. There aren’t any words for this. Again, I’m sitting, listening.  Wishing I could give my friend a hug.  Wishing this situation was different.  Wishing he didn’t have to walk this path.

And yet, that’s reality right now.  For two of my friends.  Only a few days before Thanksgiving, and real life looks nothing like the perfect images of a family around the table with the turkey.

But here’s the thing.  Even in the midst of this, there’s something good.  Both my friends have children, a supportive spouse, nearby friends to give comfort and help where it’s needed.  I don’t say that to minimize the pain.  I say it because it’s true.

These situations are tragic.  There’s no other way to put it.  At the same time,they aren’t the only thing happening right now.  Even if their lives.

All the blessings are still true.  We can still give thanks.  Not for the pain.  But for what else we have.  And for what we will learn if we open ourselves up to growing from the pain.

It takes courage.  Fortitude.  Intention.  Time itself doesn’t heal all wounds.  It can merely drive them underground if we don’t pay attention.  But when we look those wounds in the eye, allow ourselves to feel the depth of the pain, and also choose to give thanks, that’s when healing can begin.

Maybe you’re feeling the mixed emotions that sometimes accompany Thanksgiving.  Missing someone dear to you.  Feeling regret for something you did or didn’t do.  That’s okay.  Feel it.  Acknowledge it.  And also look for what’s good, noble, true, and beautiful amid the struggle you face.  Choose to give thanks.  Practice gratitude.  That’s where the healing happens.

If you have a story you’d like to share, please leave a comment.  And know that I’m sending love to you today.