We each have a success set point that is difficult to get past. 3 Strategies to make a Big Leap over our Upper Limit.
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On This Episode
Rhythm of Life – Grief, Grace, and the Grind
Random Riffs – Are We There Yet?
Feature Segment – Leaping Over Your Upper Limit
Rhythm of Life – Grief, Grace, and the Grind
If you’ve listened to this podcast from the beginning, you know some of my story. If not, one important part of my story is that my husband suddenly died several years ago. As you can imagine, this unexpected event threw my life into a complete tailspin. I had no idea who I was or how to move forward.
I studied the five stages of grief: Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression, Acceptance.
I found what I was reading frustrating. It implied that the process is linear, like I should continue to progress from one stage to the next and the next. Many around me thought this as well, and were surprised when I wasn’t moving toward acceptance.
As someone who has been through this, this is NOT the way to help someone who is grieving. Grief doesn’t follow a timeline or pattern.
I’ve shared a great read by Megan Devine in the Huffington Post for you who are grieving, or if you love someone who is.
Random Riffs – Are We There Yet?
What’s one of the most dreaded lines a parent can hear? “Are we there yet?”
Why do kids ask this? Maybe because they don’t like to be strapped in one place without the ability to move around. Or they are tired, or hungry, or have to use the bathroom. Or, like many of us, they are focused on the destination, but don’t want to endure the journey.
Everyone can learn from this scenario:
- We should move more than we do.
- Self-care is important.
- Enjoy the ride. We’ll be more likely to see the beauty in the everyday.
Next time you or one of you children says, “Are we there yet?”, use it as a reminder to move, practice self-care and enjoy the ride!
Feature Segment – Leaping Over Your Upper Limit
Have you ever found that you get close to succeeding at something you really want, and then something happens? Something stops you, or pulls you back from where you were headed. I’ve seen it in my own life. I am poised to really make strides in something, and then something halts my progress.
Dr. Gay Hendricks, a professor and founder of the Hendricks Institute, speaks to this in his book called The Big Leap. He calls this phenomenon of holding yourself back from achieving your true potential the Upper Limit Problem. Simply described, it is our discomfort when we start to succeed well beyond where we have been before. At its core, it is fear. We've discussed this notion of fear in past episodes (A Super-Hero Dances With Fear; Strategies to Leave Procrastination Behind; Tune In and Tune Out).
Why does this happen? The primitive part of our brain wants to go where it feels comfortable, safe.
What Dr. Hendricks describes is fear disguised as external circumstances.
Dan Gilbert labels it our Happiness Set point. People who have both positive and negative circumstances return to their normal happiness level after one year. And Shawn Achor, in his book The Happiness Advantage, found through his research that circumstances only account for 10% of our happiness. Our attitude accounts for 90%.
Dr. Hendricks tells us to employ 3 strategies to make a big leap:
1. Choose Your Zone
There are four zones in which we could operate. We often tune out the call to Genius, losing part of ourselves in the process.
Marcus Buckingham has written several books focused on building strengths including, Now, Discover Your Strengths, Go, Put Your Strengths to Work, and StandOut.
Think about your life right now. Where do you operate the majority of the time?
2. Identify the Symptoms and Causes
Dr. Hendricks lists 4 hidden barriers that trigger the Upper Limit Problem. They are not true, but we unconsciously believe them to be. (Listen to Episode 031.)
There are symptoms that indicate we are encountering a hidden barrier.
3. Leap Over the ULP – How?
Resources to help you leap:
- Discover your Genius – use StrengthsFinders
- Learn to say no to things outside your Zone of Genius.
In the end,
Choose what zone you want to live in
Recognize what holds you back and call it by name
Leap
It’s simple, but it’s not easy.
The fear won’t stop. But now you know how to rob it of its power. Leap!
What will you win? –A Free copy of this week's book.
How do you win?
1. Tweet about this episode using the Twitter share button.
2. Add the hashtag #readforlife
3. Add my Twitter Handle: @KThompsonSings
I will draw a winner from the tweets on the Monday after the episode publishes.
Please note: I reserve the right to delete comments that are offensive or off-topic.