Whether you’ve been widowed, divorced, or experienced some other loss in your life, the book Saturday Night Widows has something to teach you about what it means to be shaken up, spit out, and come back to life.  Not the same life.  An entirely new life built from the wreckage of the old.

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On This Episode

Rhythm of Life – Plenty of Toothpaste, Dorothy
Random Riffs – A Big “Oops!” Turns Into a Bonanza
Feature Segment – Saturday Night’s Alright

Rhythm of Life – Plenty of Toothpaste, Dorothy

In the very first episode of this podcast, I introduced a family joke.  It had to do with gas in the car, and the crazy things we did with the expression, “Plenty of gas, Dorothy.”  I thought of that expression the other day as I was trying to squeeze the last bit of toothpaste out of the tube.  All I could think was, “Plenty of toothpaste, Dorothy.”

And why was I working so hard to squeeze the last possible drop of toothpaste?  The challenge.  The toothpaste is putting up a fight, but I am determined to win.

Plenty of Toothpaste! (c) Kathleen Thompson

If you’re almost at the end of your toothpaste tube, see how far you can go.  (Of course this is a euphemism for other challenges in your life.)  Post a picture in the comments or on my Facebook page.

Random Riffs – A Big “Oops!” Turns Into a Bonanza

An original copy of Lewis Carroll’s “Alice’s Adventures in Wonderland” is expected to sell for between $2MM and $3MM at a Christie’s auction.  To most that probably seems like a ridiculous price.  And why is it worth that much?  Because of a botched print job.

Don’t you wish your screw-ups would sell for more than your successes?  Think about it.

But since that is unlikely, what if we virtually auctioned off our mess-ups as a way to get rid of the emotional baggage they can create?  What if we decided to celebrate them – not so much for their intrinsic value, but for the value of the learning they represent?

In the end, reading about Lewis Carroll’s topsy-turvy “Wonderland” sale was a good thing.  It reminded me of the value of screw-ups.  And it told me to pay attention to old books when I go to yard sales.

Feature Segment – Saturday Night’s Alright

Saturday Night Widows, by Becky Aikman, is the story of six women who were widowed “too young” and explored together how to seek a way forward in this strange new world.  And it is one of the most unusual and heartwarming books I have ever read about grief.

Whether you’ve been widowed, divorced, or experienced some other loss in your life, Becky’s book has something to teach you about what it means to be shaken up, spit out, and come back to life.  And not the same life.  An entirely new life built from the wreckage of the old.  It helps you explore the question “who do I want to become next.”

Becky describes me in the book almost to a T.  Successful, confident, part of a team.
And in the aftermath of loss, someone who wants to learn how to live again. To be happy again.

If you’ve been through a life-changing loss, you may be feeling much the same way.  You don’t fit into your old life, and you can’t see a new one either.  You’ve experienced how isolating it feels, and you want to be part of a group again, but your old tribe often can’t relate to or understand your loss.

So Becky formed her own group.  A group of renegade widows.  A unique support group which would simply live and explore and share, together and apart, out there in the world, wherever that world might lead them.  Six women remaking themselves.

When we've experienced loss, we want to feel connected to other people.  To share experiences and grow with each other.  And that’s exactly what Becky’s Saturday Night Widows group was about.  They threw themselves into positive experiences that fully engaged their interest and allowed them to heal.

And they actively explored “What now?”  They knew the old world didn’t fit them anymore, they didn’t dwell on what was, and they didn’t just wait for life to come to them. Instead, they built new experiences with new friends.  They created a safe place to experiment. They tried on a new life to see what would fit.  And when it didn’t, they tried again.

It takes guts to reinvent your life when it wasn’t on your agenda. It takes persistence, and it takes patience.  So if the circumstances of your life have set you back on your heels, left you reeling, and asking, “now what?”, know you don’t have to go it alone.  Round up a gang and ride off together.  Try things you’ve never done before.  Let your friendships help you heal.  It will only get better.

If you’re at a point in your life where you’re asking the question “what now?”, I’m here to help.  I’ve been through this with my husband’s death, a serious illness, and multiple corporate mergers. Get in touch with me by clicking here or email me at kathleen@kathleenannthompson.com.   Together, let’s turn that “What now?” into “What’s next?”

What might your “What's Next?” look like?  Join the conversation below.