Culture isn’t what you say, but rather the total of what each one who’s part of the culture actually does. Many cultures are built with fear, or without intention. It just sort of happens, based on how everyone chooses to engage with the others. To build a culture with love takes intention, practice, and diligence. Not only that, but five practices that we’ll talk about in today’s episode.
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On This Episode
Rhythm of Life – More Emotion, Less Singing
Random Riffs – People Like Us
Feature Segment – Built With Love –Your Culture
Today’s Quote
A rhyme doesn’t make a song. – Dorothy Fields
Rhythm of Life – More Emotion, Less Singing
At my voice lessons, Roger is coaching me through some of my original songs. He’s teaching me how to express emotion differently from how it gets expressed in opera or show tunes.
I’m finding that more than just the technical aspects of singing have become habit. How I express emotion through song has become habit as well. And now I’m in the process of unlearning and undoing those habits to create new ones.
When habits are part of a group’s behavior, they’re called norms. And they need to be disrupted from time to time. Because keeping to old ones can drag you, your team, family, or organization down.
I’m working to do just that with my singing. You can do it too. Disrupt your own norms. Inhibit a habit. Choose something else instead. Experiment. Play. Until you find something that works. That does what you intend. And then at some point you’ll want to disrupt that one too.
What habit do you want to change? What’s your version of “more emotion, less singing?” Leave a comment or email me at kathleen@kathleenannthompson.com.
Random Riffs – People Like Us
Today I went to a Jerome Kerns sing-along at a community center near me. (He’s most famous for writing the music for Show Boat.) Another of his most famous songs is “The Way You Look Tonight” with Dorothy Fields as lyricist. That song won Academy award for best original song in 1935. It's from the musical Swing Time.
The number of women who have won an Academy Award for Best Original Song are so few that it’s noticeable. Unfortunately, that’s similar to how many diversity efforts look in organizations. Not necessarily for lack of trying, but because people often can’t see themselves as part of the group. People who do things like that.
Part of education is to help people believe they are worthy. To open their eyes to the possibility that people like them can do things like this. What are they and we missing if they don’t ever see that?
So, if you’re in a position to guide, encourage, inspire, or lead others, look for people who might not volunteer themselves. Who might not know they could do something, and don’t even try. Look for them and nurture them. Show them that people like them do things like this. And we’ll all go out humming.
Feature Segment: Built With Love – Your Culture
Core values. Often hanging on the wall in the lobby. Set up as computer wallpaper. Not always practiced. Yet, are they actually values when they’re not practiced? Your culture isn’t what you say it is. It’s what you do. Thus, it doesn’t matter what you say your core values are, no matter how much you wish they were true. It matters what actions you take.
How can you build a culture with love? It doesn’t happen by accident. It doesn’t happen by posting core values on the wall. It happens by intention and practice. And exhibiting 5 characteristics.
- Trust
Adam Grant – Give and Take. Strategic Givers can build a strong culture. Partly because giving helps to build trust.
Simon Sinek – Leaders Eat Last. Others matter at least as much as you do. You’ll put the team ahead of your own comfort or reward.
Yet, trust takes time to build. So even though it’s part of the foundation, it doesn’t happen first.
- Pursue a greater purpose
One of the 6 important emotional needs is to have a sense of purpose. The strongest cultures know that and make sure everyone understands what the purpose is. That they work toward making that happen. A shared sense of purpose creates cultural cohesion.
- Communicate with honesty and empathy
Both are necessary. One without the other destroys relationships. One pushes people away. The other is based on a lie.
The power of honest and empathetic communication is amazing. You may feel some immediate pain. But that’s nothing compared to the festering wound that happens with dishonesty or cruelty.
- Challenge and support
A culture built with love isn’t all togetherness all the time. You want diversity and challenge. It’s the only way to growth. It can even be loud and heated. But about the situation, problem, or idea. Not personal.
It’s important to know when to challenge and when to support. Support when it’s hard. When someone messes up. When someone or the group gets attacked.
- Disrupt the norms
This one’s more about changing up how to do things. Norms are like shorthand. No one has to tell anyone how to do something. They just know and do it.
But they can become auto-pilot. They can be slowly poisoning the culture from the inside out.
Disruption isn’t easy. It’s like changing a personal habit. And disruption keeps people on their toes.
Wouldn’t you love to live and work in a culture built with love? Where you grow, and so does the group? Where you’re working toward a greater purpose – together? You can. It starts with you, and can spread.
Built With Love Series
115 – Built With Love
116 – What is Love?
117 – Your Team
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