I told myself it was really an excuse to get together with friends.  Even introduce some who hadn’t met one another.  It wasn’t about the painting.  Because I really don’t know how to paint.  Often avoid it, in fact.

Because it’s easy to get trapped in judgement.

So I repeated over and over, “I’m not painting.  I’m getting together with friends.  And it’s for a good cause.” It was a fund-raiser for the arts group I belong to.

The atmosphere was fun.  The fact that we had dinner together first made it even more fun.  ‘Cause we were already loosened up from laughing.  And when we got to the venue, there was the brightly-colored paint gleaming at each place right next to an empty canvas.  Such possibility!!  To make a masterpiece, make something super-ugly, and everything in between.

I’m an artist, but I’m not that kind of artist.  I don’t paint.  I don’t draw.  Unless you count stenciling or painting walls.  Or drawing a flow diagram.  I sing.  Dance.  Write music.  Play instruments.  Sew.  I don’t paint.

I tried to follow the teacher’s instructions.  She not only told us what to do, but how to do it.  As she did it and I tried to do it, I saw that my attempt to copy her was getting in the way.  My attempt to get it right was also in the way.  I was starting to feel intimidated.

She reminded us that we could always paint over it – either another color or the same color.  Nothing was irretrievable.  Everything was redeemable.

Yes!  Everything is redeemable.  Why not breathe and let that sink in to the depths of your soul.  Everything is redeemable.

Each time the instructor said this, I breathed a sigh of relief.  Grateful for her understanding and empathy.  That she knew exactly how many of us were feeling and said just what we needed to hear.  Everything is redeemable.

• Painful divorce? Redeemable.
• Serious illness? Redeemable.
• Broken neck that happened from driving while intoxicated? Redeemable.
• Lifetime of unrealized perfectionism? Redeemable.

Anything and everything you’ve ever done or not done is redeemable.  Because we learn and grow from each and every one of these situations – as long as we decide to let that happen.  As long as we don’t let the weight of bitterness or regret drag us down.

What if I had spent the entire evening judging myself for my lack of skill or talent?  What if I was wishing that I could have inherited my grandmother’s painting gene and was bitter that I was lacking it?  I would have had a terrible time.  And my painting probably would have reflected how I felt.

Instead I relaxed.  Enjoyed the time with my friends.  Putting the paint on the canvas.  Mixing the colors.  Experimenting.  Knowing I could paint on top of anything that was really terrible. Knowing it was redeemable.

Then we got to the end.  The sky, water, horizon line, dock, and reflections had all been painted.  All that was left was the birds.  Now the stakes were higher.  The birds were on top of everything else, and what was underneath had a lot of layering.  If we messed them up, we couldn’t easily paint over it.

Sometimes we can’t paint over our mistakes.  Sometimes we pay a price – and it might even be high.  Yet even that is redeemable.  Each and everything in our lives can mold and refine us – when we let it. 

Even though I was able to relax at Paint Night and suspend self-judgement, I’ve been struggling with this during the past week.  I’ve felt just how profoundly I’ve been impacted by staying with my job for as long as I did, and I’ve been battling with regret.  Especially when I see how long it’s taking to recover.  I’ve been acting as if this won’t be redeemed.

Even though everything else that I’ve gone through has been redeemed, I still fight with doubt.  Even though God has brought good from bad, even though I’ve grown through those times, I still wrestle with doubt that it will happen this time.  I tell myself a story that robs me of my peace and my power.  Keeps me small and protective.  Not open and confident.

I want to live my life like I did at Paint Night.  Just dip my brush in the paint and go for it.  Not hold back out of fear or frustration.  Go for it.  Live full out, rest, have faith, and go out again.   Even if I get bruised, broken, or beaten up.

Maybe you want that too.

If you do, start by believing that everything is redeemable.  Then get out your paintbrush and just start.  Know that whatever happens will refine you, shape you, and grow you into the person you were created to be by the master artist himself.

Is there something happening in your life right now that could be redeemed?  What difference could believing that make in your attitude today?  How might that even impact the outcome?  Leave a comment.

P.S., Here are a few photos of my finished painting.  One of the whole thing, and a close-up of the birds.

Don't worry.  I'm not going pro.  Gotta love those birds, though.

Here's the evidence of our fun time at Paint Night.